A Boy Asked Me Out but I Said No Why Doesn t He Ask Again

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Y'all're and so ready to keep a date with the daughter you've been crushing on, but first you have to ask her out. How should you lot bring it up? What exactly should y'all say? Asking a girl out in person, over text, or on social media tin be intimidating, but don't worry. We've got all of the best tips for asking a daughter out. Go along reading for examples of what to say, plus tips on how to announced cool and confident when you ask her out.

1. 1

   Plan what you lot're going to say so you feel more confident. Having a plan will help you be more directly and then that in that location are no misunderstandings.^[i] You want her to know that you're request her out in a romantic sense, not just every bit friends. You don't have to repeat a script give-and-take-for-give-and-take, but you'll experience more comfortable if y'all accept a general idea of what to say. Here are some examples of things y'all could plan to say:^[2]

   • "I got tickets to the Taylor Swift concert in August. Would you want to come with me as my engagement?"
   • "Would you like to get to the new bookstore and take hold of a coffee together afterward?"
   • "I'd dear to take you out to dinner next weekend. How about the new Thai identify?"
   • If you're really shy, utilize that to your advantage. You lot tin even plan to say something like, "You lot know I'g a pretty shy person, so this is a fiddling bad-mannered for me, merely I wanted to tell you that I retrieve you're actually overnice and accept a peachy sense of sense of humor. Would you lot want to go play mini-golf next weekend?"^[3]

2. two

   Wait to ask her until you're fairly certain she'll exist in a good mood. If you notice that she seems lamentable or angry about something, it might not be the best time to ask her out on a date. Try to catch her after something good happens, similar if she gets a skillful grade on a examination or gets an interview for a chore she wants.^[4]

   • Asking a daughter out in person tin exist nerve-wracking! To assist ease your anxiety, set a deadline for yourself and commit to request her before that engagement. Once y'all showtime the chat, it'll only take a few minutes to ask her out.

   Tip: If she but recently bankrupt upwardly with someone, you may be tempted to spring right in and ask her out as soon every bit she'due south available. But, chances are, she needs a piffling scrap of time to adjust. Give her a few weeks before y'all attempt to ask her out. In the meantime, offer her your friendship and an ear to listen if she needs it.

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3. 3

   Talk to her when she's by herself then you don't have an audience. If a daughter is with a group of friends when you try to ask her out, she may become embarrassed or non be able to talk openly because she might feel uncomfortable almost how many people are watching your interaction. Plan out a way that y'all tin comfortably talk to her one-on-ane.^[5]

   • You lot could ask to walk her to her next class.
   • You could ask her to await upwardly after a meeting considering y'all have a question for her.
   • You could even send her a text asking her to meet yous somewhere.

4. 4

   Make eye contact and do your best to speak clearly. When you get her ane-on-one and are ready to ask her out, accept a calming breath. Smile, brand gentle eye contact, and stand up straight.^[6] Avoid slouching over, staring at the footing, or mumbling. Remember, you don't demand to say more than ii-three sentences.^[7]

   • If yous're nervous, exercise what you're going to say in front end of a mirror several times.
   • You could also record yourself asking her out. Play it back to yourself to run into how you sound and brand whatsoever adjustments that you need to. Practise you say "umm" or pause a lot? Keep practicing until your question sounds natural.

5. 5

   Ask her out! Once you've gotten her attention and are talking to her, you only demand to take a deep breath and calmly ask her on a date. Say something similar, "Would you lot similar to grab a drink at the new coffeehouse this Sunday?" or "I'd like to get to know you better. What exercise y'all recall about taking our dogs out for a walk something this weekend?" Call up to be direct and confident.^[8]

   • If yous desire to practise something a little more than romantic, consider something like having flowers delivered to her house. Then, follow up with her in person and say something like, "I hope yous liked the flowers I sent. What do y'all think well-nigh going out this weekend?"
   • You could also do something a little out of the box, like take a pizza delivered to her with a note attached that says something similar, "This is a fiddling cheesy, but I'd love to get out to dinner with you lot this weekend."

6. 6

   Respond positively, no affair what her respond is. In the best-example scenario, she said yes and you lot can move on to preparing for your date! If she turned you downward, it'south normal to feel a fiddling bummed. Do your all-time to not take information technology personally; try to view it every bit a "not the right time, not the right person" situation, and move on equally best you can.^[9]

   • Definitely don't try to convince her that she is making a mistake. She knows what she wants and trying to make her do something else will make her feel uncomfortable.
   • Try saying something similar, "No worries—I'chiliad glad I at to the lowest degree asked and don't accept to wonder! I hope you lot have a great mean solar day." Be sincere and try to grin and not sound sarcastic.

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1. 1

   Use text or social media if that's how you lot commonly communicate. A lot of dates are arranged via text, DM, social media, and in other similar ways. When deciding how to ask a girl out, pick whichever method feels most natural to your normal style of communicating.^[ten]

   • Go along in heed that yous'll want to be really clear via text so that your intentions aren't misunderstood.

2. 2

   Selection an activity to ask her to do earlier y'all ship your message. Rather than existence vague and asking her to just "hang out" or what she'due south upward to that weekend, pick something fun that you recall you'd both relish. This gives her something to respond to, and you won't be left wondering what to do if she says yes. Here are some dandy first date ideas:^[11]

   • Go to an arcade or to play mini-golf
   • Go to a coffee shop and a used bookstore
   • Plan a movie marathon
   • Go to an admission-costless art exhibit or festival
   • Volunteer at the local fauna shelter to walk and play with the animals
   • Brand homemade pizza and do a puzzle together

   Tip: Ask her out far enough in advance if you want to exercise something that requires tickets. It would suck if she wasn't available that weekend or if the tickets were all sold out.

3. 3

   Proceed the text short, sweetness, and specific. Send her a bulletin that says something elementary like, "Hey Kate, I think yous're really cute. Want to go play arcade games and get something to swallow this Friday?" Telling her you think she's attractive clues her in that this is a romantic message and not just a friendly one.^[12]

   • Remember to inquire about a specific activity. For example, "Would you like to get out on a date with me adjacent Sat? I thought we could go dinner and get meet a picture show," sounds much more than romantic than, "Want to hang out former side by side weekend?" The latter could exist misinterpreted.
   • Text isn't the only pick—you could use DMs in dissimilar social media apps or send a cool video through Instagram or Snapchat.

4. iv

   Accept her respond and reply quickly even if she turns you lot downwards. If yous get rejected, don't expect too long to reply. You could say something like, "That's okay! I just wanted to ask. I withal think yous're absurd and volition come across you in grade." Information technology'south non fun to get rejected, but it is a normal experience and doesn't mean annihilation bad about y'all every bit a person. Information technology's only non the right fit right at present.^[13]

   • If you practise go rejected, reassure yourself that at least now you know. You won't be left wondering what could take happened, and you have more practice under your belt for the next time you decide to ask a girl out.

   Tip: If a girl says no, respond positively and calmly. The next time you see her in person, brand it a betoken to say "hi" and smile so that she knows at that place are no hard feelings.

5. 5

   Make plans for your first appointment if she says yeah. Hopefully, y'all got a positive response to your message! Firm upwardly the details for the appointment, put it in your calendar, and take a few minutes to gloat how well things went.^[14]

   • Either the day before or the twenty-four hours of your date, send her a message letting her know you're looking frontward to hanging out.

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1. i

   Find out if she is already dating or interested in someone else. You may already know this info, only if not, it'll come in handy when deciding when or if to ask her out. Pay attention to the people she talks well-nigh oft. If they aren't regular friends of hers, information technology may be someone she is interested in romantically. Bank check out her social media to see if there are any clues at that place, as well.^[xv]

   • You could fifty-fifty plough this into an opportunity to go to know her improve past request something like, "Tell me more well-nigh some of the people you've dated," or "Did your last relationship end well?"

2. two

   Bank check to see if you lot catch her staring at yous. When someone looks at your ofttimes, that can often mean that they're interested in y'all. Particularly if you lot are already friends, this can be a cracking indicator that she may exist developing feelings for you.^[sixteen]

   • If yous don't observe this, it doesn't mean that she isn't interested or that you shouldn't ask her out. It'southward merely ane way yous might exist able to tell if her feelings toward yous have changed.

3. three

   Observe her body language to tell if she is interested in y'all or not. Does she arroyo you and stand or sit virtually you lot? Does she touch on your arm or shoulder? These signs may not mean that she likes you romantically, only they show that she doesn't dislike you lot. They hateful she is comfortable around you and generally likes you equally a person. This is a nifty sign!^[17]

   • Your chances of getting a "yeah" when you lot ask her out are much higher if a daughter likes you every bit a person.
   • On the flip side, if she avoids you, doesn't brand middle contact, or moves abroad when you're close by, those are clear signs that she doesn't want to spend time with you.

4. four

   Flirt with her to see if she responds positively. Brand longer-than-usual centre contact and smiling at her. Touch her gently on the arm or shoulder to brand concrete contact. Compliment her looks and her intelligence.^[18]

   • Compliment her.^[19] To compliment a girl, you lot could say something like, "That sweater brings out the color of your eyes," or "You lot did a swell job on your presentation today. I wish I could speak in front of people similar you."

   Texting Tip: If you're flirting via text, you could say something similar, "Every time my phone goes off, I'm hoping information technology's you."

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Additional Ideas

Add New Question

• Question

  Is information technology okay to take a daughter home on the first date?

  

  Stefanie Safran is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Owner of Stef in the Urban center, a Matchmaking and Dating Coaching business focused on an honest and hands on arroyo. Stefanie labels herself as "Chicago's Introductionista®" equally she has over xv years of feel in the matchmaking manufacture. Her work has been featured on various media such equally: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, and Refinery29. She holds a MBA in marketing and branding from Loyola University in addition to her BA from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

  

  Dating Jitney & Matchmaker

  Expert Answer

  It is non advisable to take a daughter dwelling on the first date. Less than 10% of those who take sex within the initial three dates continue dating for a year. Secondly, information technology is not suitable for health and safety reasons.

• Question

  How should I choose a location for a engagement so that both of usa are happy?

  

  Stefanie Safran is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Owner of Stef in the City, a Matchmaking and Dating Coaching business focused on an honest and hands on approach. Stefanie labels herself equally "Chicago's Introductionista®" as she has over 15 years of feel in the matchmaking manufacture. Her work has been featured on diverse media such equally: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, and Refinery29. She holds a MBA in marketing and branding from Loyola University in addition to her BA from the Academy of Wisconsin-Madison.

  

  Dating Coach & Matchmaker

  Expert Answer

  You can requite your suggestions for the location and fourth dimension of the engagement. Then ask your partner to cull from the options. For example, y'all can ask, what do you think of going to this or would you prefer this?

• Question

  How can I make my date enjoyable?

  

  Stefanie Safran is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Owner of Stef in the City, a Matchmaking and Dating Coaching business organisation focused on an honest and hands on approach. Stefanie labels herself every bit "Chicago'south Introductionista®" as she has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking manufacture. Her work has been featured on diverse media such every bit: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, and Refinery29. She holds a MBA in marketing and branding from Loyola University in add-on to her BA from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

  

  Dating Coach & Matchmaker

  Expert Answer

  Make eye contact with your partner while talking. Give your partner a take chances to speak almost herself. Do non do the same things you do on every date. Pay attention to what this particular girl wants and act accordingly.

• Question

  A lady I like is two years older than me. She is simply the person I'd like to engagement merely I was told the lady should always be younger. Can I become ahead and ask her for a date?

  

  Absolutely! Two years difference is nothing and there is no dominion that you lot can't date a woman who is older than you. In fact, whatever such assumptions are sexist and ageist, then do what your heart says is the right thing to do, not some strange folk nonsense about historic period differences in dating.

• Question

  What tin can I practice if a girl is aware that I like her but she thinks I am weird?

  

  Make your weirdness your selling point. Assist her to encounter that yous are but different rather than odd and that this difference is desirable. There is absolutely no point irresolute to suit her -- if you do that, the human relationship won't concluding.

• Question

  What if she isn't immune to date?

  

  There isn't much you can practice unless you're prepared to talk directly to her parents to endeavour to "prove" you are responsible and will respect her. The trouble is that if parents have forbidden it, they have their reasons and you will find it hard to sway them. Information technology may be best to wait until she is immune to date; if you really intendance for her, she'll still be available. In the meantime, be good friends and use social media to stay in impact and share things together.

• Question

  A girl asked me out, just I really like her friend. Should I say yes?

  

  Keep a date or two and run across how it goes. If you can't stop thinking about the other girl, call it off.

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• If you're asking a girl out in person, make sure to brush your teeth and wear clean clothes so that you expect and scent practiced.

• Don't exist afraid to show off your unique personality. Beingness yourself is the all-time fashion to attract someone!

• If a girl turns you downward, don't ask her why. This could make her uncomfortable and make y'all seem pushy. Only let it go and have her answer.

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Commodity Summary X

If y'all want to enquire a girl out, start by having a specific activeness in mind for the engagement. As well, endeavor planning out what you want to say to her ahead of time, which tin can help yous feel more than confident. For example, yous might say, "I got tickets to the Taylor Swift concert in August. Would you desire to come up with me as my appointment?" If you're nervous, attempt practicing in forepart of a mirror several times beforehand. When you lot're gear up to ask her out, endeavour to catch her when she's in a good mood and past herself and so that you don't accept an audition for the conversation. Then, smile, make eye contact, and go for it! No matter how she responds, react in a positive manner and try non to have it personally if she says no. At that place are other fish in the sea! For tips on how to figure out if the girl is interested in you, keep reading!

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